Vanished
by PlantNerd92
Summary: RC spoilers! "Nothing Dimitri Belikov had done as a Strigoi had hurt me more than what he had done as a Dhampir. I felt used, humiliated, and to top it all off, my life would never be the same. I vowed I would never return to the world of the Moroi, and not even Belikov himself would be able to change my mind, if he ever found me." (M for language and thematic elements)
1. Chapter 1

Tasha had been convicted for killing Queen Tatiana, and with the arrival of Jill and her newfound heritage, Lissa got her seat on the council, and became the new Sovereign of the Moroi world.

As for me, I disappeared…

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"_Let me up, Dimitri! We have to go out there! We have to do something! I can't stay hidden in here forever!" I snarled, struggling under his weight, trying to get up._

"_Rose, we have to stay here," He snapped, and I could see the desperation in his eyes. He hated this as much as I did. He was just like me. We couldn't take the uncertainty of hiding and waiting for the Guardians to find us. We were so alike, preferring to face our enemies head-on… But currently, I needed to get out of here, and Dimitri was in my way… So, I kissed him._

_What surprised me the most was that he was kissing me back. It shocked me so much, that I forgot that I was using the physical contact as a distraction to get away from him, and our mouths locked together heatedly. Suddenly, he became my oxygen, and I needed him to live. It had been too long since I'd been able to touch him, kiss him like this, and I felt like I'd been starved for ages. We were desperate, taking out our frustration and tension on each other, our hands and mouths raking wildly over skin, hair, and fabric as clothes came off and we each struggled for dominance and release throughout the night. Hell, probably the next three days. I didn't keep track._

_When we had expended all of our pent up energy, we both collapsed in a panting, sweating, naked heap, tangled up under the covers. Every inch of my body tingled with a satisfied buzz, and I was too exhausted to even lift my head from off of his chest. I almost immediately fell asleep once we'd settled down, unable to keep my eyes open for another second, after being so thoroughly blissed out._

_When I woke up, the bed was cold and empty. I frowned slightly and opened my eyes, looking for Dimitri. I could hear him in the shower, so I relaxed. I sat up and smiled when he came out of the bathroom, but my smile faltered when I saw the expression on his face. Cold, and indifferent; it was the same look he had leveled me that day in the chapel when he'd told me his love had faded. I was stupid to think he had changed his mind. I shrank away from him, suddenly self-conscious as I quickly reached for the covers to hide my naked chest as I looked up at him, feeling the hurt and self-loathing suddenly slam into me full force. Dimitri didn't even flinch._

"_You just slept with me to keep me from leaving, didn't you?" It was more of a statement than an actual question. Something flashed in those brown eyes of his; but he said nothing to confirm or deny such accusations, and somehow, it was just the straw that broke the camel's back. Or in this case, my heart. I slammed my guardian mask up, and stood, ripping the comforter off the bed, keeping it firmly wrapped around my body as I searched for my clean clothes Sydney had gotten for me and made my way to the bathroom. Dimitri seemed to panick and think I was going to run off, because he reached out to stop me, but I karate chopped his hand and bucket tossed him over my shoulder and sent him sprawling halfway across the floor and the bed, still managing to stay covered with the quilt. _

"_Do not touch me, Belikov, or so help me God, I'll crush your scrotum!" I snarled at him, and stomped into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me, and locking it behind me. I raked a brush through my hair, and turned the shower on the coldest setting I could get it to go, and cleaned myself up, and just stood under the stream, leaning against the wall, and sinking to the floor, my arms around my legs, knees to my chest as I sat, risking hypothermia under the icy water as it mingled with my silent tears. The cold eventually made my skin numb. That was all I wanted, was to be completely numb to everything._

_I was such an idiot! I was so stupid! How could I have been so blind and naïve to think that two seconds of mutual camaraderie would erase the past weeks or months of him swearing up and down that he felt absolutely nothing for me? After everything, all he had to do was snap his fingers, and I was all over him. And I was supposed to be dating Adrian, too! How did I sink so low?_

_I was so angry. I finally dragged myself out of the shower, and dried myself off, and got dressed. I looked at my reflection in the mirror, took out a utility knife, and started hacking at my hair, giving myself a DIY razor cut. My insanely long hair was a dead giveaway, anyway. It needed to go, and I didn't stop until my head was covered in a blanked of cropped dark silk. I brushed the hair off of me, and threw the clippings in the garbage, rinsing it out, and running my fingers threw my new pixie cut. It was a little wild, and stuck up in choppy pieces every which way, but it was kind of cute… and strange, because it was so different. Somehow, it made my face look softer, almost more fragile. And in a way, the short hair kind of reminded me of my mother… Whatever, I didn't care anymore, and it was done anyway. No turning back now._

_I dressed in denim shorts and a tank top. Frustration still simmered in my blood at the fact that Sydney couldn't have gotten me regular jeans and tee shirts, but I just had to suck it up and deal with it for now. _

_Now, I needed to focus on how to get away from Belikov. I walked out into the bedroom, but I refused to even look at him as I grabbed a pillow off the bed, rolled myself into a burrito with the quilt I'd stolen earlier, and laid on the floor in the corner of the room, wanting to put as much space as I could between him and me, and since I was smaller than him, I could fit into nooks and crannies better than he could, just wanting to shut everything out._

**…...**

_Dimitri and Sydney were still mad at me for blowing our cover. I wasn't sorry at all. I needed out. Every second trapped in that room with him was starting to drive me certifiably insane. _

_And then the nausea started, and I became even more irritable and difficult than I was when this whole thing started. I thought it was initially PMS, but the weeks went by, and that monthly visitor was still a no show. I never really mentioned it, but when I was a month late on my cycle, I started to worry. Especially when everything gave me heartburn, or made me puke. I dumped Dimitri's aftershave down the toilet at one point while he was asleep, because the odor, once so very delicious, had now become the most toxic, horrible smells in the history of this planet to me. He was mad at me for that, too, but I found a sick sense of satisfaction out of torturing him. I was stuck with him by force. That didn't mean I had to be nice about it._

_Dimitri had stepped out to get food, and I was pitched over the toilet in another horrible, horrible gagging fit. I couldn't stand it anymore. Being very careful not to attract attention, I went to Sydney , swore her to secrecy, and begged her to get me a pregnancy test. I kept trying to convince myself that it was completely impossible, considering I'd only been with Dimitri ever, but all the signs were there. The morning sickness, the violent mood swings, the lack of my period, my sensitivity to smell, and I even noticed I was starting to look a little bloated in my midsection and feet. _

_Sydney brought it back with her, and I locked myself in the bathroom with it. I was scared to find out, but I needed to know, so I could figure out what to do. After peeing on the stick, I waited for the correct time, taking a deep breath to steady my nerves before checking. My eyes widened, and I waited so I could take the other two tests, just to be sure._

_All three of them sported a pink plus sign… positive… Congratulations, Rose, you have done the impossible once again, and got knocked up…. With the child of another Dhampir._

_I buried the pregnancy tests in the garbage and cried my eyes out. Never in my life did I ever seem to catch a break._

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I managed to keep the pregnancy hidden from everyone. Thankfully, I hadn't started to actually show through the whole time Dimitri and I were on the run. Thankfully, I'd managed to keep my body safe and relatively healthy, even as we fought with Sonya Karp, had her restored, and then dealt with Victor Dashkov and Robert Doru, as well as the Guardians trying to kill us. I still wouldn't really speak to Dimitri, except for strictly business. He'd wounded me deeply, but we had a grudging truce, because we needed each other in order to survive this whole mess and figure out who killed Tatiana and find Lissa's half-sibling. And I needed him to stay safe, and vicariously keep our unborn child safe, even if I'd be damned before I told him about it. No one could know. They would probably be treated as a science project. I would be treated as a science project, and so would Dimitri, because Dhampirs weren't supposed to be able to create offspring with each other.

I managed to knock Lissa and myself out of the way before Tasha's bullet hit either of us.

And when the commotion cleared, I ducked into the shadows, and ran away from Court. I jumped the wards and walls, and ran, and I didn't stop. I couldn't let anyone find me, find my baby.

Adrian still tried to contact me, but I had effectively blocked him out. Lissa, being queen of the Moroi and dhampirs now, had sent search parties for me, and so had Abe, trying to track me down, but I stayed very, very hidden, blending into the human world. I even got a job so I could earn enough money to at least leave the country. It wasn't safe. Too many people knew me here. And, I know this sounds crazy, but I desperately needed to see Olena Belikova again. I was scared about becoming a mother. She could probably help me through it…

I couldn't afford to go to the doctor to get checkups and ultrasounds. All I could scrape by with was food, vitamins, and a roof over my head as the months went by. My belly grew bigger and bigger, and I could feel the life growing inside me.

I could never, ever go back to my old world, the world of the Moroi and dhampirs alike. Even though I had been raised to put the Moroi first at all costs, I would not risk my baby, come Hell or high water. Sometimes, I felt guilty that I had abandoned my friends and family, and that I would be keeping Dimitri from our child… but it didn't really matter much, since he didn't love me, and would never believe me anyway, if I told him about it.

I was about eight months along when I finally managed to go to Russia. I knew I had to get to Baia quick if I wanted Olena to help me with this baby. From what I had heard, Dimitri was part of the Royal Guard, and Lissa's main guardian. I hoped he'd be too busy to take a vacation to visit his family for the time being. I didn't want to go within a five hundred mile radius of him, since I was still licking my wounds from how much he'd hurt me last time. He'd deliberately manipulated and used me… And you know, he was still upset about what he did as a Strigoi, but that was nothing compared to what he'd done to me as a dhampir. I never wanted to see him again. Hell, he could have dropped off the face of the earth, and I wouldn't care. I'd probably dance with joy because I hated him so much. I hated everyone! Everything I'd planned for my whole life went down the damn toilet because of Dimitri-f**king-Belikov and everyone associated with him. I've been an attempted murder, framed for murder, hunted, shot at, slandered, and used by everyone in that world to further their agenda, and I was sick of it! I was done, and I would never subject myself to that life again. Correction, I'd never subject my child to that again. I would hide so they would never be able to find us.

As I left Omsk and started travelling towards Baia, I prayed I wouldn't run into any Strigoi. I was the size of a house these days, and there was no way I was agile enough to take a member of the evil undead on right now.

I must have been two hours outside of the dhampir commune when my back started to cramp sharply. I hissed, but continued driving. If it had only been a one-time thing, I would have been able to keep going, but eventually the pain got so bad, I had to pull over and step outside, doubling over by the car, panicking when I felt my water break and soak my pants. I reached inside for the little flip phone and dialed a number that I'd never forgotten.

"_Zdravstvuyte,eto Olena Belikova govorya,"_ The warm, wonderfully soothing voice chimed on the other end of the line. I cried I was scared and relieved to hear her voice all at the same time.

"Olena! It's Rose… I need help! I'm… I'm pregnant and I've just gone into labor… I'm an hour outside of Baia! Please help me! I'm scared! It hurts so much," I sobbed as another contraction shot through me. I heard a commotion of shouting and chattering in Russian on the other end before Olena's voice rang through, calm and steady, giving instructions.

"_Roza_, Karolina and I are coming right now. Stay in the car, and we'll come get you. We have two hours of daylight left, so you must stay put so we can find you. _Milyy, _I need you to calm down and take deep breaths. In through your nose, out through your mouth, _da_? Focus on your breathing and stay calm. We'll be there as soon as we can. Stay on the phone with me, Rose. I need you to tell me what is going on." Her voice was soothing to me, and it was a little easier to come out of my panic attack as she talked me through it. I climbed back into the car and reclined the seat, trying to get comfortable as my body was currently tearing itself in half to push a watermelon-sized human out of my lady-hole. This wasn't exactly fun.

Luckily for me, somehow I was able to get through the time it took for Olena and Karolina to pull up and jump out of the car to get me. They had brought Mark out to drive the car I brought back to Baia and help load me into the back of the Belikovas' car with Olena back there with me to check my dilation and monitor the progress of the labor. And to keep me sane, since I wasn't doing such a good job of that by myself.

My mind was in a fog. The only thing I could really process was dull aches, then sharp pains. Dull aches and sharp pains, over and over again as the pressure on my pelvis only increased. In my panicked, pain-induced fog, I was convinced that I was going to die. We got back to the Belikovas' home, and Mark carried me upstairs into the bathroom, holding me up while Olena took my clothes off, and then helping me into a tub full of soothing water that Sonya must have prepared for me, easing me down onto my knees, because my legs were too wobbly to even hold me up.

Olena gave me instructions, and I followed, not really able to focus on thinking about what was being said. She said push, I pushed. I wanted this agony to be over. Hell, I don't even know how much time had gone by, but I sure couldn't feel my knees anymore with how long I'd been kneeling on them… not that it mattered, because the pain in my lower torso and hips was all-consuming. The urge to bare down started coming in waves and every time she told me to push, I pushed like my life depended on it…. and screamed bloody murder when I finally felt a head pass through my birth canal… and then felt another head come out right behind the first little body.

"Twins, Rose! You had twins! They're beautiful! Come on, let's get you cleaned and dried, and into bed. Mark!"

I was so tired… I'm pretty sure I was half asleep when hands gingerly hoisted me out of the tub, feeling Olena's hands clean me up and wipe me down with a towel before getting me dressed and having Mark carry me to bed. I was almost off to dream land when I felt two bundles being placed in my arms. My eyes snapped open, and I looked at my children in wonder. Twins… I'd never even guessed, but I guess it made sense, since I'd been so huge. I looked at both of them, a boy and a girl. A son and a daughter. I started crying again, but for an entirely different reason. My heart suddenly felt too large for my chest. Suddenly, all the pain Dimitri had put me through had been worth it because of these two little bundles of perfection in my arms.

"What will you name them, Rose? The girl was born first," Olena tutted gently. Sniffling, I looked down at my babies, looking at the girl.

"Her name is Thalia…. Thalia Dimitrinova Belikova-Hathaway… And my son… He looks like a Nikolai to me… Nikolai Dimitrinov Belikov-Hathaway…" Olena was silent, and I suddenly realized I had said it out loud. I looked up at Olena, frantic.

"Olena, you can't tell a soul that I'm here… Or about my children… but you need to know… I was only ever with Dimitri… After he was restored… we were on the run… and it just… happened…. and then I somehow ended up pregnant. I don't know why, but I know Dimitri's the father… You have to promise not to tell… if anyone finds out about their parentage, they'll take my babies and treat them like science experiments… no one can know… not even him. Promise you won't tell," I begged her. Olena stared at my children, the fact that she was now a grandma to five little ones instead of three sinking in. Tears sprang to her eyes as she kissed my forehead and the foreheads of my children.

"_Bozhe moy… Roza…_ My sweet, sweet girl… I'm so happy right now… Such a blessing, two new grandchildren from you and my Dimka…" She started rambling in Russian and kissed my cheeks again, admiring the babies in my arms, before instructing me how to breastfeed them, before sitting in the rocking chair beside the bed, watching over me as I finally fell asleep and got some much needed rest.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: So, I hope you lovelies like this. This is basically story vomit, and basically me dumping everything in my brain on paper right now to pour out my frustration with my current writer's block for my other stories. Sorry if it is crap, because I'm not doing any editing or anything like that. I'm just writing away and I don't really care what comes out. I don't even know where this story will end up, so it's just as much a surprise for me as it is for you, but at least it's a fun surprise. Just a heads up, I don't write MA lemon scenes. This is rated M because it has the (censored, BTW) F-bomb in it, some suggestive material, and it talks about some gory details of childbirth as well as breast feeding and nipples and all that fun stuff. (None of that bothers me, since I work in a hospital and have studied child development pretty often, but some people get offended by things like that. Birthing videos are usually labeled as NSFW, anyway, since it involves half-naked women pushing tiny humans out of their private parts, so better to be safe than sorry. **

**Anyway,enjoy. I'll try to get my other stories updated soon. It has been difficult, since I have been falling asleep almost immediately after even turning my computer on every day for the past couple of months, but I'll work on it. Here's a third-person pov featuring the Belikova's, specifically Olena, but surprises are in store! Happy reading. VA belongs to Richelle Mead. Plot is mine, and OC's are mine. That is all. TTFN!**

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The Belikova household seemed to be in a stunned silence. The girls had been listening at the door for the names of the children and had heard everything. They had become aunts all over again in the most unexpected way.

Yeva, however, sat in her rocking chair knitting, a smug smirk plastered on her face. She'd seen it coming… And she'd also seen that they would be having a long-awaited homecoming very soon.

When Rose wasn't learning to feed and take care of the twins, Olena made sure she stayed well fed, and got plenty of rest. Childbirth and all the stress leading up to that point had taken a lot out of the poor girl, and she was exhausted. The Belikova women, however, very much enjoyed all the time they got to have cuddling their new niece and nephew, or grandchildren. Even the little ones were very fascinated with the newborns, and Paul rather enjoyed the praise he was receiving on what a good big brother and cousin he was to his little sister and his cousins.

Even Yeva spoiled her great-grandchildren. It was hard not to, with as adorable as they were. Rose would have never believed it, if she hadn't seen it with her own eyes on the rare occasion that Olena let her out of bed.

One morning, about a week after the twins were born; a call came while Olena was upstairs helping Rose and the babies with their breastfeeding routine. Little Nikolai had a tie on his tongue that wouldn't allow him to latch properly, and Rose was still adjusting to holding two babies to her at the same time. It came easier, the more she practiced, but sometimes it was overwhelming. Olena had since snipped the tongue tie so Nikolai could feed properly.

Since she was too busy to answer the phone, and Yeva and Viktoria were watching the older children while Karolina and Sonya were at work, Vika got up to answer the phone, her lilting voice chiming through the line in her native tongue.

"Belikova residence, this is Viktoria speaking," she answered only to hear the breathing on the other line become labored, as if the person were fighting tears.

"Vika!" a voice she thought she'd never hear again cried through the phone. "Vika, it's Dimka! I'm coming home."

Viktoria squealed and danced around with excitement. "What? When?" She demanded to know. Her brother was coming home. She was so joyful, completely forgetting the fact that there was a young mother of two newborns frantically trying to stay hidden from said brother.

"I'll be there in ten minutes. Don't tell Mama. Promise?" he asked, and she could almost see the grin on his face. Viktoria nodded eagerly.

"Promise! I'll see you in a little bit!" she said quietly, before hanging up the phone, returning to what she was doing. Olena came downstairs to put bottles of breast milk Rose had pumped in the freezer for later use a bit later, and when the knock came on the door, Vika went to answer it. She beamed up at her brother, seeing him for the first time in years, back from the dead, and hugged him tightly, before putting her finger to her lips, whispering.

"Mama's in the kitchen. You should surprise her," she suggested with mischief dancing in eyes that matched Dimitri's.

Dimitri grinned and ruffled her hair, before sneaking in the kitchen, surprisingly light on his feet for one his size. He looked like a young boy with his dancing eyes as he crept up behind Olena, suddenly wrapping her small frame up in his arms, and hoisting her off her feet, and spinning her around. Olena shrieked in surprise and when she saw who her benign attacker was she stared at him, before pulling him into a vice-like hug, sobbing.

"My son! My precious son! You've come back to me!" she wept with utter joy. Dimitri shook with his own tears in her fragile arms, having gotten down on his knees, his head buried in Olena's chest as he cried like a baby for the first time since Lissa had restored him from his cursed state. Olena held him tightly, stroking his soft, downy hair, just as if he was a little boy again.

The shock of seeing Dimitri alive and well as a dhampir again, after everything that had happened, had caused Olena to forget that Rose was there hiding as well, and that she and her children were trying to sleep.

Soon, Karolina and Sonya returned from work, and joined in the hugging and the joyful weeping over the return of the brother they thought they would never see again, and Paul joined in with them. Dimitri soon found himself in the middle of a giant family hug. Somehow, it had eased the pain that had taken permanent residence within his soul.

The clearing of a throat snapped everyone to attention, and they all looked up to see Yeva shuffling over to them, her tiny, withered frame parting the women like Moses parting the Red Sea. Even Dimitri, standing on his knees was at perfect eye-level with his old Babushka, was still frightened by the sternness in her dark, knowing eyes as she stared him down.

"Dimka, you've been a horrid little boy. Come. I must speak with you," she said her voice fierce as her withered hand whipped out and grabbed her grandson by the ear and led him away into the next room. Dimitri flinched at the tight grip on his ear, but tried to keep a straight face as he shuffled behind her, still walking on his knees. His sisters stared after them in astonishment, trying to keep their laughter from bubbling to the surface, lest they be dragged off by the ear as well.

Olena sighed, and got started on dinner, beginning to mix and knead dough for pierogis, stuffing the tiny dumplings with mushrooms and cheese, and stuffing rolled cabbage leaves with a pork and rice mixture, for Golubtsy, placing them in a casserole dish of thin tomato sauce and baking them. Vika came to help her, dropping the pierogis in the pot of boiling water on the stove, and making sure they didn't stick together as they cooked.

Sometime later, before the food was almost finished cooking, Dimitri came back with Yeva, looking pale and visibly shaken. Yeva looked the same as always, shuffling about with her knitting. She wasn't sorry about anything she had just told him.

"Dimka, are you all right? You look unwell," Olena tutted as she came up and pressed her palm lightly to his clammy forehead while Vika finished frying the boiled pierogis and pulled the golubtsy out of the oven, and Paul set the table.

Dimitri opened his mouth to speak, but it wasn't his voice that came out.

"Olena? The sores are bleeding again. Do you have any more of that ointment for…"

Everyone stopped and turned to look at Rose standing in the stairwell, her short dark hair in a sleepy mess, and clad in a loose nightgown. But she was only staring at the man in the room, who was staring back at her with just as much surprise.

"_Roza_…" Dimitri could only manage her name as he stepped forward. Rose stiffened, and Dimitri must have seen it, because he suddenly vaulted forward and started chasing her when she turned and bolted up the stairs and ran into the bedroom Olena had her staying in, and slammed the door in his face, locking the door behind her, keeping him out.

"Rose, please! Please talk to me!" he begged, kneeling outside of her locked door.

"There's nothing to talk about! I have nothing to say to you!" her voice screeched, muffled through the door, their argument echoing throughout the house.

"I have so much to say to you, Roza! Please!" Dimitri persisted, leaning heavily against the door frame, his forehead pressed to the wood of the door.

"No! All you're going to do is come in and tell me what a stupid, immature child I'm being and scold me for running away, and make me feel worse about myself! I don't want or need to hear anything you have to say, so leave me the Hell alone! I'm not coming back to Court, and I'm not letting you in!"

"Roza!" Dimitri cried, becoming more frustrated, trying the door knob, hoping that it would let him pass, rattling it as his aggravation grew, only to have a firm hand grip his upper arm. He turned to meet the stern brown eyes of his Mama.

"Dimitri, go downstairs and eat your dinner. Now. We will talk later," she said firmly, leaving no room to argue. Dimitri sighed, and obediently did as she said, after looking at Rose's door longingly one more time. Olena made sure he was gone before knocking lightly on the door.

"Roza, it's me. I'm coming in," she said softly, unlocking the door and quietly stepping inside. The babies had woken up during the argument and Rose was cradling the both of them to her in the rocking chair, tears running down her face. She looked up at Olena helplessly, and the woman's heart broke for the girl who should have been her daughter-in-law.

"I brought you something to eat. Here. I'll help you put them back to sleep," she said, putting the plate of food on the little table next to Rose's chair, and gently taking Thalia from her mother, smiling at her little granddaughter as her tiny face peeked out from the blankets and fixing her with a cross-eyed gaze from those newborn grey eyes. A tuft of Rose's dark hair dusted Thalia's head, but Olena decided that the baby looked much like her own daughters when they were infants themselves. Nikolai slept in Rose's arms. He was a tiny little thing, much more fragile than his rambunctious sister. Rose's lovely hair won again on his downy head, and so did her eyes, but he looked almost identical to his father.

"Kolya looks just like his father…" Olena pointed out carefully. Rose sniffled and wiped the tears away from her face and nodded.

"I know… It hurts… It was so long ago, but it still hurts… I was fine until Dimitri came along… I sometimes wish I'd never met him… He… He just ruined me and threw me aside…" she said, her soft, hiccupping sobs interrupting her from time to time.

"You still love him," Olena stated. Rose silently shook her head.

"I don't know what I feel anymore. I don't want to love him. I don't want anything to do with him after what he did. I don't want to let him close enough to hurt me again. I'm tired of him treating me like a child! God! He treats me like a stupid kid one moment, and the next moment, he uses me as a good f*ck, and then afterwards, he proceeds to go back to pretending it never happened, while scolding me for being some dirty slut! The f*cking hypocrite! I went through Hell and back trying to save him! I tried to kill him when he was a Strigoi so I could free him! And then when that didn't work, I broke Victor Dashkov out of Tarasov Prison to go traipsing across the country to find his half brother, who claimed to have restored a strigoi to her natural state, to find out how he did it! And then Lissa shoved the charmed stake in his heart, and suddenly it's all on her! She is the most perfect person in the world, and he would do anything for her because she was his savior! Nevermind that I broke the law and did horrible things to give her that information in the first place! No! Instead, he ripped my heart out and stomped on it, and then went on to ruin my life as I knew it! I want to hate him, but I can't!" Rose cried softly. "It isn't fair!"

Olena listened patiently, as if she were listening to her daughter's vent over their own heartbreaks. She was a bit disappointed in her son, but even so, she didn't love him any less, and she didn't love Rose any less, either. Rose was the mother of her grandchildren, of Dimitri's children, even if he didn't know he was a father yet. Of course, if Rose had her way, he would never know… Which Olena did feel was a bit unfair. Still, she could see the logic behind it. She wasn't sure if Dimitri would even be willing to give up life as a guardian to protect and hide his little family from those who would treat them like side-show freaks and lab rats.

After Olena had made Rose cram every last bite of food on her plate down her throat, she put the young mother to bed, and tucked her in, leaving the healing ointment for her raw, cracked nipples on the nightstand for her to use as needed. She watched over Rose until she fell asleep, helping her feel safe and secure enough to calm down. Once Rose was asleep, Olena picked up the twins and carried them downstairs so that she could feed them with some of the breast milk Rose had pumped earlier, and to bathe and change their diapers. She'd eaten dinner with Rose, so she didn't have to worry about sitting down at the table late, and her children had already cleared the table and done the dishes. Olena set the carriers for the twins on the table, humming softly as she warmed the milk to the correct temperature. She turned around to see Dimitri in the door, staring at the twins, and looking somewhat frightened, but with pure longing in his eyes.

"Dimka?" she questioned, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Mama… Babushka told me… are they really mine?" Dimitri asked softly, his voice trembling. Olena bustled about, preparing bottles.

"Well, Dimka, they're a week old, and Rose was eight and a half months along when she delivered them. Where were you eight and a half months ago?" she asked directly. She turned around with two bottles in her hand to see her son blushing shamefully. She nodded firmly. "Good. I'm glad you haven't lost your ability to do basic arithmetic and understand basic biology with all the head traumas you seem to be sustaining. And if that didn't work, a simple paternity test would prove the results anyway. You ought to be ashamed of yourself." Olena handed him a bottle to punctuate her scolding words. Dimitri looked down at it with confusion.

"Well don't just stand there and stare at it. You can help me take care of your children while Rose is asleep. Come on. If you want to play with the tools, you get to be responsible for the results," she added before going to unbuckle the newborns from their carriers. Dimitri was still staring dumbly at the backs of the carriers. It was as if he was afraid to come around to see what was on the other side.

"But, Dhampirs can't have children with other Dhampirs… How is this possible? I don't understand, Mama?" he asked, still trying to wrap his head around the whole concept. Olena shrugged.

"I don't know. Why do you think Rose ran away? She doesn't want anyone to know about them. I wasn't even supposed to know, but I found out by accident, as well as your sisters. Rose is afraid the Moroi will experiment on them, as well the both of you, because you seem to be incredibly potent," she stated, causing Dimitri to blush with embarrassment.

"Mama! Please stop saying things like that! It's just… no. Just don't, please," Dimitri begged. Olena rolled her eyes.

"Dimka, please come here. I think it's time you met your children," she said simply, walking up to him, stepping behind him, and gripping his arms as she steered him around to the front of the carriers where the tiny faces of the twins poked out of the blankets they were swaddled in. Dimitri's eyes were the size of dinner plates as he took the sight of them in. Olena carefully lifted Thalia out of her carrier and made Dimitri sit down just like when he was a little boy asking to hold Viktoria for the first time, before she placed her granddaughter in her father's waiting arms.

"This one is the oldest… your daughter… Thalia Dimitrinova Belikova… Rose chose to follow Russian tradition in giving them their patronymic names, and your surname, but will use hers to keep them protected," Olena explained when Dimitri looked up at her in question. He nodded and looked down at the little girl, a smile starting to spread across his face as he began to fall in love all over again with the tiny girl in his arms. He laughed very softly as his fingers lightly stroked over her fine dark hair. "She has Rose's hair… She has a lot of hair… _moy printessa…_" he murmured, gently holding her up to his face, and inhaling deeply, memorizing the newborn's scent of Rose, milk, and sweet warmth, chuckling softly when her tiny fist reached out to grab his nose, holding tightly onto his nostril. He gently extracted his nose from her tiny fingers, playfully scolding her in Russian as he kissed her little hand and cradled her protectively to his chest. He looked up, beaming with happiness at his mother, his eyes widening again, slightly when Olena handed Nikolai over to him as well. It took him a moment to adjust to holding two babies, but he did just fine.

"This is your son, Nikolai Dimitriov Belikov. He's the youngest. He's a frail little thing, but he has his mother's fighting spirit. He looks just like you," Olena crooned softly, looking lovingly at her grandbabies. Dimitri was equally enraptured as he stared down at his son, repeating the ritual he had done with his daughter, holding Nikolai close and memorizing his sweet newborn smell, and kissing his forehead. Nikolai grabbed Dimitri's lip, but his grip was a little weaker than Thalia's grip on his nose had been. Tears flooded Dimitri's eyes as he held his children for the first time.

So long, he had felt like a monster. So long, he'd pushed Rose away and tortured himself, but this… his children, his two beautiful children that Rose had blessed him with, simply erased the pain. His life as a Strigoi no longer mattered. Nothing mattered except for his family… Rose, his children… in just a few short moments, they had become his whole world, and he would move Heaven and Earth just to keep them safe.

Now, he just had to convince Rose to let him.


	3. Chapter 3

I avoided leaving the room. To be fair, I was exhausted from having the twins, and we were still adjusting to our mommy and baby routine. But in reality, I was trying to avoid Dimitri. After about a week of hiding, Olena had enough and she made me get out of bed and go down stairs to eat with the family, and wanted me to start going on walks with the twins so we could go get some sunshine and fresh air. This time, I couldn't ignore her, because she was adamant about being obeyed.

So, I was coming down to breakfast the next morning. My short hair was messy, and I paid no attention to my appearance. I was lucky if I remembered to shower and wear deodorant, and if my clothes matched. Everywhere I went, I usually had a baby attached to my boob, or I was changing diapers or carefully bathing tiny bodies. After I fed the twins and put them down for their morning nap. I helped to set the table, stretching my legs. I nearly collided with Dimitri as he came in from his run. I froze and stared at him for a long moment, my face deadpan as we studied each other. I noticed his fingers twitch and start to reach for me, but I quickly backed up several steps, and dodged around him, giving him a very wide berth as we moved around the Belikovas' little house. The more Dimitri tried to approach me, the more I avoided him.

Viktoria and Karolina apparently noticed this trend, because they went out of their way to make sure Dimitri sat right next to me at breakfast. I was tense and uncomfortable as I tried to sit as far away from him as I could, given our cramped sitting space, being careful to not touch him or brush up against him in anyway. Every time I looked at him, I remembered the moment that resulted in my children, and I felt dirty and used. He'd played on my weakness for him and took advantage of my feelings for him so that he could manipulate me. I would never trade my children for anything in the world, but I hated the circumstances that brought them into this world. It wasn't fair. My children should have been created with love… not with lies…

And that was all I could see when I looked at Dimitri now. I no longer saw a man I loved more deeply than I could fathom… I saw a lie that I had been burned terribly by. And I vowed I would never let him close enough to hurt me or my children again.

I could tell he was watching me out of the corner of his eye, trying to engage me in any sort of conversation, but I pretended he didn't exist, and focused on chewing my food thoroughly and swallowing. I felt his knee brush up against mine, and though I felt completely ridiculous afterwards, I startled and jumped up out of my chair as if a snake had just slithered across my lap, and in my haste to remove myself from the situation, I'd knocked the chair over with a loud clatter, lost my balance and fell. For a split second, I was prepared to land painfully on the chair, but instead, I landed in Dimitri's lap, because he'd caught me and held onto me tightly. I hissed, and struggled, trying to wriggle out of his arms, the breakfast table suddenly turning into the ring of our wrestling match as everyone shouted and tried to be heard over the clamor, but I would have none of it, and apparently, neither would Dimitri. He'd been sitting next to me this whole time like a Venus Fly Trap, and when I'd accidentally fallen into his lap, he trapped me there and refused to let go. I snarled and struggled, and even felt him stand up and carry me away from the tables, my feet lifted on the floor, and my arms pinned to my chest as he carried me outside to prevent further damage.

I was spitting like a wet feline by the time we crossed the threshold into the morning sun, screeching and kicking with anger. But after giving birth to twins, I was not any kind of match for Dimitri's strength. I wasn't strong enough to overpower him anyway, and with the vantage he had, I was helpless. I couldn't even strike at him, because he had my arms held firmly against my torso. I tried to kick in his kneecaps, but he anticipated that, too, and managed just to stay out of my reach.

"Let me go, you lousy, rotten son of a bitch!" I yowled, struggling with every ounce of strength and energy I had in my system. "_Put me down!"_ I screamed so loud, I could feel my face turning purple with the way my blood pressure skyrocketed.

"_Roza_, be quiet or you'll upset the neighbors," Dimitri said in that infuriatingly calm voice, patronizing me. I wanted to claw his eyes out and shove them up his butthole.

"I'll give them something to be upset about if you don't put me down right now! I'll cut off your penis and make a f*cking door decoration for them! _Let go!_" I shrieked. Dimitri sighed.

"Suit yourself, _Roza_," he said, and then he let go...

And dropped me flat on my ass.

I hit the ground so hard, the wind was knocked out of me. Gasping for breath, I just gazed up at the sky for a long moment, a little mystified as I tried to puzzle out exactly how I had gotten here and how the wind left my lungs. When it all started to come back to me, I spit on the ground and slowly started to pick myself up out of the ungainly heap I had landed in...

And then I promptly charged Dimitri at top-speed. He expected an upper body attack, like my hands in a chokehold around his neck... But I dropped my head last minute, and headbutted him in the groin, and knocked him to the ground, wheezing and crumpled in a heap as he clutched at his crotch in pain, tears leaking from his eyes. He even started dry heaving and threw up.

I almost felt bad... Almost.

I snarled at him before turning on my heel and stalking back into the house. The Belikovas all looked between Dimitri and I, a little horrified at our altercation. I paid no attention to them, a deep scowl on my face as I went upstairs to go put my children back to sleep, considering the ruckus I'd made had woken them up.

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"You know, Dimka, I think that went rather well... Given the circumstances," Karolina said cheerfully, as she handed him another pack of frozen peas for his groin. Dimitri looked up at his older sister, laying on the couch in his boxers, clearly unamused as he a carefully adjusted the make-shift ice pack against his tender, throbbing scrotum, wincing in tremendous pain. If he was ever able to have children again after this, it would be rather surprising.

"What part of that went 'well,' exactly?" he grumbled. Karolina was a bit too chipper at his expense.

"It could have been worse. She could have disemboweled you and pulled out your testicles from the inside and turned them into earrings for Natasha Ozera like she vowed she would do while she was in the middle of pushing two watermelons out of a small hole between her legs. You know how childbirth is. And she has a set of lungs on her. You could hear her all the way to the end of the road. Instead, she just decided your family jewels were a bullfighter, and she was the bull. You're still alive and in one piece, and to be fair, you were a horrible ass. Your display and then dropping her unceremoniously on the ground afterwards didn't exactly win you any points or help your cause. In fact, you're lucky she hasn't murdered you in your sleep yet, if not worse," Karolina explained gaily as she dabbed at his fevered, sweaty skin with a wet washcloth to keep his temperature down. The injury had made him physically sick because of the pain. Dimitri groaned.

"I can't even get her to let me within a ten meter radius of her so I can talk to her and work things out. What else am I supposed to do? Last time I tried to talk over the distance anyway, she covered her ears and sang American nursery rhymes at the top of her lungs and ran away!" he complained. Karolina shrugged.

"Well, you could try not physically removing her from the house and dropping her gracelessly on the ground. She's still very sore. Childbirth hurts. I would know. She had every reason to return the favor, Dimka. Just be grateful you're still a man," she tutted in that patronizing, older sister way. Dimitri glared at her, and she just laughed. "Dimitri, give it time. She feels very betrayed and hurt over everything that has happened. It is unrealistic to expect her jump back into your arms just because you smiled at her again. What's gotten into that head of yours? It's awfully cocky of you, and I've never known you to be such a dick," she chided, before forcing a bit of ice water down his throat. "You just think about that for a while and figure out how to repent for your abhorrent behavior towards her, and then do it. In the mean time, _mladshiy brät_, try not to screw everything up and piss her off even more," she told him, before gathering her things, and carrying them out of the room. "Get some rest," she called behind her.

Dimitri sighed, wiping his hand over his face. He had become a master at screwing everything up with Rose. This time, literally.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: Okay, here's a little update for you. It's short, but it's something. And, it's a little bit of reconciliation. But only a little. I know some of you were upset about Dimitri's groin injury, and some of you thought it was stupid for Rose to go to the Belikova's if she didn't want to be found or was poor, but listen up, peeps, this is my story, and if you don't like, that's just too bad. Yes, going to Siberia to Dimitri's family is not the most rational or practical decision, but if you stop and think about the experiences Rose was having and her frame of mind, especially with fear about becoming a mother, Olena seemed like the most crucial option, all things considering the relationship with Rose's own mother and the friends from home. Fear as well as any other powerful emotion causes people to do things that we don't understand. And I don't believe in kicking guys in the groin except in extreme cases, either, but Dimitri deserved it. Having babies hurts, and being dropped or falling like that could rip stitches, and seriously injure someone who is still recovering from having a baby. And Dimitri was being an abominable dirtbag anyway. And questions for Yeva's behavior in this chapter, she's keeping her nose out of things so people learn to put their big-person panties on and work things out on their own. So there. Enjoy. I don't own Vampire Academy. On a lighter note, anyone who is interested in following me as a writer, I have a goal for a publish date on my debut novel. I'm shooting for December 15, so we'll see what happens**.

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After my little showdown with the father of my children, Dimitri finally went back to avoiding me. I was grateful for that, because I didn't want him anywhere near me. It was almost kind of funny the way his eyes would fill with a sort of terror every time he caught my eye. Asshat.. Now he understands how it feels. The weeks progressed, and I couldn't shake the sudden paranoia that had begun to plague me over the idea that Dimitri may have alerted the Queen and the rest of Court to my whereabouts, and that scared me. I didn't want to be found, for my children's sake. No Dhampir had ever conceived and bore children with another dhampir or human, and the last thing I wanted was for the Moroi to try and take my children and treat them like science experiments. I actually became increasingly jumpy as time passed, not liking the way Baia seemed so calm; too calm, like the calm before a storm. Maybe it was all in my head, but maybe I truly had a valid reason to be concerned. It was hard to tell. I was sitting living room of the tiny Belikova home, nursing my babies by the warmth of the fire. Yeva sat adjacent to the twins and I in her rocking chair, knitting furiously away at what looked like a baby sweater in soft, dark green fabric. It looked like it was intended for my little Nikolai who was still meek and frail. My son needed so much care and attention, but it was hard when Thalia had a very loud set of lungs and tended to be very fussy.

I hadn't slept very well the past several weeks, and my fear of being dragged back to Court, my violently conflicting feelings over Dimitri, and the fragile, weak health of Nikolai and followed by Thalia suddenly becoming colicky and crying what felt like every second of every moment, of every hour, of every day was finally too much. Yeva didn't seem to be in tune with my distress, and Olena and Dimitri's sisters were out either at work or out shopping. Thalia screamed at the top of her lungs and refused to be consoled, and her wailing was soon joined by Nikolai's frail cries. Finally, everything came to a head, and I snapped and started crying too. I didn't know what else to do to soothe my children, I didn't know what to do about the mess the rest of my life had become, Hell, I didn't know what I was doing at all. Yeva serenely ignored me, focusing solely on her knitting.

Dimitri, however, did not.

All I heard was a thundering of steps, and suddenly his face was three feet from mine, his face worried and concerned.

"Rose? What happened? What's wrong? What can I do?" he asked, but all I could do was shake my head as embarrassing sobs hiccuped from my mouth. Dimitri looked panicked, but he didn't hesitate at all when I handed him his screeching daughter with a wail of my own.

"Help! I-I can't! She won't stop crying and Nik-kolai won't eat, and, and I'm so tired!" I bawled. This was his fault. He knocked me up. I couldn't handle being a mother, and he'd knocked me the hell up with not one but two screaming gremlins. And now I was a screaming gremlin because I couldn't take it anymore. Well... Not screaming, exactly, but I felt like one of those stupid cartoons where rivers shoot out of their eyes like fire hydrants when the cry.

Dimitri looked a little alarmed by all of this, but he held our daughter securely in his arms, gently rocking and bouncing her, lightly patting her on the back after he'd thrown the burp blanket over his shoulder, humming softly. Thalia eventually calmed down, and Dimitri took that opportunity to sit right next to me, with Thalia starting to fall asleep with her tiny limbs starfished over his broad chest. Dimitri carefully reached around my shoulders to pull me against him so my head rested on his shoulder as I still clutched Nikolai to my chest. I sat there, topless with only my son and his blanket to cover me as my tears soaked the soft jersey knit of Dimitri's t-shirt.

Dimitri kept humming softly, as his hand began to lightly stroke over my skin, sending shivers down my spine. My uncontrollable sobbing gradually began to weaken and diminish into stupid sniffles and ragged gasps, until I could finally refocus on trying to get Nikolai to latch onto my breast and feed. It took a long time, but eventually my son succeeded. Thalia had already eaten and finally was sound asleep where she rested on Dimitri's chest, and as Nikolai suckled where he lay safe and secure between my body and the pillows supporting him, I felt my own eyes growing heavy with exhaustion. I felt Dimitri shift slightly only to feel his lips brush over my hair, and I sighed, feeling safe and warm and content. I barely noticed Yeva finally look up and give a smug smirk of satisfaction as she noticed us before going back to her work. Finally, I managed to close my eyes and get some rest, feeling pretty grateful Dimitri had come to my aid, even though I hadn't asked him too. I had to give him some credit, though, considering the twins were his children too. Unexpected miracles that neither one of us ever anticipated.

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A little while later, I woke up and found myself laying on top of the couch... Well, that wasn't quite accurate. Dimitri was laying on the couch, and I was laying on top of him with my face smushed against his chest, and our two little miracles cradled protectively between us where they laid on Dimitri's chest and curled up close to mine. Dimitri snored softly, his breath gently stirring my hair. I looked up at him, and he'd found a pillow to support his neck, and I smiled, slightly amused at the sight of his legs hanging off the couch from his knees from how tall he was. He'd covered my torso with a blanket for modesty and warmth, and I appreciated that.

I listened to his heart beating steadily in his chest, as I kept my arms looped protectively around our babies. For the first time since the cabin, I felt whole. I wanted this moment between our little family to last forever, but I was too afraid to hope. To be honest, I was terrified that the minute Dimitri woke up, he would run away and tell me I meant nothing to him again. I didn't realize he stopped snoring until he tightened his arms around me. I looked up at him, startled, and saw that he was looking down at me with those soulful chocolate eyes, and very much wide awake.

"Am I dreaming?" he murmured, his voice thick and rough with sleep. Surprised, I looked at him with wide eyes, a little dumbfounded. "Please tell me I'm not dreaming... Please don't go away, _Roza_," he begged softly, his eyes frantic. My heart lurched painfully. Dimitri's fear looked like the fear of a child, small, vulnerable and lost, and he clung to me and our babies as if he was terrified that we would fade away if he let us go. My voice cracked slightly when I finally found the words to answer.

"You're not dreaming, Dimitri. We aren't going anywhere. Go back to sleep," I said softly, so we didn't wake the babies. I wasn't ready to relinquish my nap, to be perfectly honest. Dimitri calmed down somewhat at my words

"I'm sorry, _Roza_..." he whispered softly, before slowly nodding off to sleep again. Yeah, buddy. Back to sleep , because you're helping me with our two little bundles of joy from now on, and you're going to need all the rest you can get, Mr. Dad. I shook my head relaxed back on his chest, listening to his heart, and feeling the warmth of his body soak into my skin, falling back asleep, and praying for as much rest as I could get before Parenthood called again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's note: What, ho? What is this? Two updates within twenty-four hours? Amazing. For the record, this is just brain vomit to clear my mind for inspiration for my original stories, since I must have the first draft finished by October for editing and review. So this is mostly inconsistent crap. However, I do not care. You get a second update. Tell me you love me in the reviews as an early birthday present for me since I become a year younger than Dimitri Belikov himself on Thursday. You know, 23-24 is really not that old. It's only been five years since high school. Enjoy. I do not own Vampire Academy. All rights go to Richelle Mead. **

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Things between Dimitri and I gradually became easier after the giant emotional enema I'd just had. I think everyone was grateful for that, since I'm pretty sure they got really tired of the bickering and the both of us acting like the other was some toxic, disgusting mold, and giving each other a wide berth. Don't get me wrong, I still wasn't exactly ready to be all sappy and touchy-feely or anything like that, but I could at least stand to be in the same room as him, now. Hell, I was even okay with him sitting close enough to me for our sides to touch, but I currently wasn't ready for anything more than that

Dimitri was sitting next to me like so at the moment, carefully holding Thalia on his knee, his gigantic hand protectively supporting her head and neck as he held her up and fed her warm, freshly pumped breast milk from a bottle, while I had my hands full trying to baby Nikolai enough for him to eat enough for him to start gaining some strength. The little tyke was still so frail and weak, always lethargic and without much of an appetite. It was concerning since it wasn't really normal for a dhampir; as it was, Nikolai took up nearly all my attention while Dimitri delightedly took care of our bouncing baby girl. I was really grateful for Dimitri's help, though. It was a wonderful relief to have a second pair of hands to help with the feeding, burping, bathing, diaper changing, and rocking our kids to sleep.

Finally, I managed to get Nikolai to latch on for real this time, sighing with relief when I felt the gentle tugging on my nipples as he started to suck with more strength and appetite this time. My son worried me. His strength and health were always on the fore-front of my mind. I relaxed against the couch and nursed, looking over and watching Thalia and Dimitri interact with each other, a small smile curling at the corners of my mouth. Thalia stared up at Dimitri with her wide, dark eyes that seemed to always be slightly crossed. At two months now, Thalia and Nikolai's eye color had changed from that serene gray to brown, both babies having inherited that gorgeous honey and molten chocolate hue like their father's. But my hair had won. Dimitri seemed to be happy about our kids having the Mazur hair.

I watched, smiling as Thalia fed, her limbs wiggling as Dimitri spoke to her in Russian in all sorts of different voices. From my vastly improved grasp of the language, I could tell he was regaling the story of Vasilisa the Beautiful and Baba Yaga among other old Russian Fairytales, only he changed it to "Thalia the Beautiful and Baba Yaga."

A small giggle escaped me as I watched my daughter interact with her father with the wide inflections and silly sounds he was making. It was incredible to watch Hard-nosed, badass Guardian Dimitri Belikov turn into a total pushover when he went into Daddy mode. Dimitri looked up and gave me one of those full, heart-stopping grins that made me choke on my own air for a minute, and I looked down at Nikolai, a little unnerved. Stupid gorgeous man causing me strange behavior

Dimitri chuckled and went back to regaling stories of how "Thalia" the Beautiful confronted Baba Yaga and passed all of her magic tests and solved her riddles with the help of her magic doll to our daughter once she'd been burped. I smiled and watched Nikolai as he finished feeding, gently burping him when he was finished, and readjusting myself and my clothes as needed to be decent again. Nikolai laid stretched out on my lap, his tiny hand wrapped around my finger. I felt warm and content as I bonded with my tiny family, riding out the gentle wave of oxytocin that had been released from nursing my children. I sighed and rested my head on Dimitri's shoulder, my short hair falling into my eyes. This was about as affectionate as I became with him anymore, but he seemed happy to have me use him as a pillow.

When the time rolled around to put the twins down for a nap, we took them upstairs, changed their diapers and rocked them to sleep, working side-by-side together as we passed wipes and diapers to each other, and finally managed to get the babies in their crib, asleep. I yawned, exhausted and desperately needing sleep. One look at the dark circles under Dimitri's eyes told me he was just as pooped. I had been sleeping in Dimitri's old room, and instead of sleeping on the couch, I'd made Dimitri just sleep in the room with me so he could help me with the twins. I tiptoed to the bed and silently crawled in, hoping to sneak a nap while the babies sleep. I looked up at Dimitri looking longingly at the empty spot on the bed. I rolled my eyes and patted the spot next to me.

"Come on. You sleep when the babies sleep. That's the rule," i whispered to him, before rolling on to my left side and getting comfortable as Dimitri slid silently into bed next to me. I stiffened slightly, but I didn't complain when his arm slid around my waist and pulled me in so that my back was snugly against my chest. Finally relaxing, I settled down, and found myself immediately being pulled into sleep by my heavy eyes when I felt Dimitri lean in and nuzzle my neck

"_Ya lyublyu tebya, moy Roza_," he murmured. "_Mat' moikh detey_..." he whispered, pressing his lips to my neck. I sighed with contentment. I was getting pretty used to Dimitri's inherent need to be close to me when we slept. I didn't push him away, because I was tired of fighting, and tired of seeing the tortured expression in his eyes whenever I pulled away from him.

"Go to sleep, Comrade," I mumbled before falling asleep.

Sometime later, I rolled over and woke up, watching Dimitri pick up both children and then carry them over to the bed, laying them down between us. I smiled down at my babies as I curled protectively around them and responding to their soft coo's with crooning of my own, lifting my shirt and positioning my body so that they could feed while I laid there. Glancing up, I saw Dimitri watching me with an expression of utmost, reverent adoration on his face. It was more intense than the way I had ever seen him look at anyone before. Not even Lissa had gotten this much attention from him after she'd staked him and restored him from being a Strigoi.

"You know, If you see something you like, you could take a picture. It would last longer," I told him with a quirk of my eyebrows. Dimitri only smiled at me instead of being embarrassed, his arm reaching over the twins to shelter them as his hand rested at the curve of my hip.

"I'll never get tired of seeing you like this..." he murmured. I snorted.

"Like what? Like I haven't showered in three days, or does my boobs hanging out totally redeem that I look disgusting and I'm covered in stretchmarks?" I asked, and Dimitri frowned at me slightly.

"You're beautiful,_ Roza_... I love watching you with our children. You're more beautiful than I could have ever imagined," he told me, reaching down to lightly trace his finger over the pink, feathery patterns of the stretch marks on my belly. It tickled, and I shivered as a tendril of heat rolled down my spine. It felt so good, incredible actually. I wanted him to touch much more of me, but we still had the predicament of the twins between us and latched to my breasts.

"_Roza_..." he murmured as he leaned forward, careful of the babies, and pressed his smooth, velvety lips to mine, gently sucking my lower lip into his mouth, and between his teeth, nibbling on it ever so lightly. This is the first time I'd let him kiss me since the time our little miracles were created, and the effect was even more potent than it had ever been before.

"Dimitri..." I moaned, trying to pull away, but he was determined not to let me get away so easily, kissing my mouth, and when I turned my head, he went to my throat, his lips and tongue worshiping every inch of skin down along my windpipe.

"Dimitri, the twins," I panted, and I felt him smile against my neck.

"Are fine. I'll help you put them back to sleep when they're finished, and then we can continue," he whispered seductively. I couldn't quite figure out where this was coming from. I mean, it was Dimitri, for crying out loud, and this was unusual for him. Narrowing my eyes, I peered at him.

"Are you trying to seduce me?" I asked him. Dimitri's grin widened.

"Perhaps," he teased, flicking his tongue over a sweet spot just under my ear, and I gasped, whimpering as I bit my lip.

"You dirty cheat. You're doing this now, because I'm feeding the twins and I can't get away, aren't you?" I muttered, but I couldn't bring myself to be angry; at least not when he was making my toes curl the way he was. Dimitri chuckled.

"I always knew you were a quick study," he murmured, his fingers massaging my back, gently working the knots from my muscles the best he could from the weird angle he was in from the babies between us. When Thalia and Nikolai were finished eating and burped, they seemed to promptly fall asleep like magic and stay asleep when Dimitri put them back in their crib, before stalking back over to me. I sat up and tried to cover myself.

"Who are you, and what have you done to Stubborn, Serious, Stick-in-the-mud Dimitri Belikov?" I asked him when he grabbed my wrists and gently pinned me back against the bed, straddling my hips.

"He was being an arrogant fool and ruining everything," Dimitri murmured, joking back as he pushed my shirt back up and pulled it over my head, leaving me topless. "So I kicked him out because I need to fix this," Dimitri whispered, looking up to meet my eyes, his warm, honey brown eyes smoldering with desire as he leaned down and kissed my navel, adoring every inch of my bare, marked stomach, worshiping my body, the body that had created his children. Just watching him was turning things on that I had shut off a long, long time ago, but the sensations he was arousing in me quickly made all common sense fly out the window. I could feel all of my resolve melting, and technically, I was okay for sex and tampons again, since I'd finally healed up completely. Dimitri moved up and began to lavish my breasts with attention and I whined with ecstasy.

"D-dimitri..." I whimpered, squirming, but he held me still, and kissed my mouth, effectively silencing me as he reached down and somehow managed to remove the rest of my clothes. I was a little embarrassed, because I hadn't had a chance to bathe for at least three days, and I was pretty sure I didn't smell or look that great, but Dimitri didn't seem to care. And to be fair, he hadn't had a chance to bathe either because all of our time was taken up by Thalia and Nikolai.

"_Shhh_... You are so beautiful, _Roza_," he murmured, beginning to take off his own clothes. I shuddered with a relief I didn't know I needed when I felt his skin against mine, making soft little mewling sounds as he touched me and aroused me in ways I wasn't sure I'd ever know again. He gently shushed me

"Hush, _Roza_... Don't wake the twins," he purred.

"This isn't going to change things," I managed to stammer, and Dimitri smiled.

"Maybe not, but it's a start... And it will help you relax," he countered, his fingers kneading my flesh deliciously.

"I need a bath," I complained, but gasped when Dimitri nipped at my neck.

"We can take one later," he told me as he pressed his knee between mine and slid up my thighs, opening my legs as he reached down and picked my legs up from behind my knees and wrapped them around his waist.

"You'd better not knock me up this time," I warned him, but he silenced me with another searing kiss.

"Already taken care of,_ Roza_," he murmured, holding an empty condom wrapper in his fingers as he put it on the night table. How? How had he gotten that thing on without my knowing?

"You... You've spent some time thinking about this..." I stammered, completely shocked.

Finally, my resistance dried up. I wanted this so badly, and I was tired of fighting, I missed it. I missed Dimitri. I rolled my eyes and pulled his mouth to mine, and surrendered to the father of my children as he began to make love to me, slowly and sweetly through the remainder of the night, keeping our moans as quiet as we could to keep from waking up the twins or alerting the other occupants of the house to our activities. He made love to me until we were both spent and exhausted, and he held me protectively to him until I fell asleep.

This time, when I woke up, Dimitri was there. There was no repeat of that hotel room in Iowa. Dimitri was holding me trapped on his chest, keeping both himself and me from going anywhere from that bed. He smiled one of those heart-melting, beaming grins at me when I looked up at him, a little confused.

"Good morning, _milyy_," he whispered, leaning down to kiss me. I blinked, stunned.

"You... You didn't leave this time..." I murmured in shock. Dimitri frowned and kissed me again.

"_Nyet_... No. I'm done leaving. I'm never leaving you again," he swore fervently. I felt my face flush with embarrassment.

"Oh... Okay. The twins?" I asked.

"They're fine, _Roza_. I just fed and changed them and put them back to sleep." Dimitri said, his fingers stroking my spine.

"Oh good... Er... Can you let me up so I can go shower? I smell like a teenage boy's gym locker," I whispered. Dimitri chuckled and let me up, putting on his own pants and following me to the bathroom. I looked at him, a little confused.

"What are you doing?" I asked. He grinned sexily at me, grabbing my hips and ushering me into the bathroom.

"I'm going to join you," he whispered, turning on the water, and testing it until it was warm, helping me out of my nightshirt, and dropping his pants, before scooping me up into his arms and carrying me into the shower.

"Dimitri!" I hissed, flustered and and embarrassed, but I started giggling in spite of myself because he was being such a cornball. Dimitri only smiled and set me on my feet once we were in the shower, his enormous hands running over my skin to wet it, before gently starting to lather shampoo into my hair, his fingers massaging my scalp. I sighed, turning to putty under his fingers as he finished washing my hair, and took the soap and began to lather it all over my skin. I shuddered.

"I can wash myself, you know," I told him. He kissed my cheek.

"I've already missed out on enough of you already because I was an idiot. I'm not about to waste this opportunity to pamper you and shower you with love and attention," he whispered. "You are the mother of my children, and I wasn't there for you like I should have been, and now I'm going to do everything I can to make up for lost time," Dimitri purred in my ear as he sensually rubbed the tension from my muscles.

"I... Uh... Oh lord... Dimitri, we need to talk about this," I managed, trying to hold on to my reason. Dimitri sighed.

"Please, later... I know we need to talk about it, but for now, let's just enjoy this. Please, _Roza_," He pleaded, and I was lost.

I always thought that if a situation like this ever arose between us again, I'd be able to say no and tell Dimitri where to shove it. But now that I was at this point, I didn't have the strength or the resolve to deny him anything. I nodded in my consent, and soon, our washing each other turned into more intimate activities.

Finally clean, dried, and in fresh, clean clothes, I went to wake up the twins and dress them for the morning while Dimitri stripped the sheets off the bed to wash with the dirty laundry. I carried the babies downstairs and was soon relieved of Mommy duty for a moment, when Olena joyfully took Nikolai, and Viktoria took Thalia for Grandma and Auntie cuddles. I helped Karolina make breakfast while Dimitri started the wash, and then came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder. "Well, you two are awfully friendly this morning," Viktoria observed with a mischevious glint in her eyes. I just looked over at her and shrugged, going back to kneading dough for_ syrniki_.

"Mama taught you how to make _syrniki_?" Dimitri questioned, puzzled. I'd never exactly been able to cook my entire life, but I could at least knead dough

"More or less," I told him, breaking the dough into individual pieces and shaping them into little discs for the cheese fritters. Karolina took the formed fritters from me and dropped them in the pan to fry.

"I missed so much," Dimitri mumbled a little sadly, but I stayed silent and focused on my work.

_One fritter, two fritters, three fritters..._


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's note: Here's another short one. **

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"Dimitri, come on. You said we would talk about this," I complained as Dimitri was slowly peeling the clothes from my body. Olena was only too happy to take the twins for a while and look after them so we could get some rest. Dimitri obviously had a different interpretation for 'Rest' than Olena and I did.

"Later, _Roza_," He murmured, gently kissing down my neck and moving down to my chest. I reached up to hold my shirt that he was currently unbuttoning closed so he had to pay attention to what I was saying instead of looking at my breasts.

"You said that last time. It's later now. We need to talk. I'm not going to just jump into bed with you the second your soldier comes up, Comrade, so you can just cool it," I scolded him, forcing myself to focus and hoping my body wouldn't betray me. "We're talking about it right now," I said with a stern finality to my voice. Dimitri sighed and rolled off of where he had me pinned to the bed, keeping me prisoner there as he curled up around my side, resting his head on my chest with his huge arm slung over my stomach. I suppose it could have been worse. At least he was listening and paying attention now, instead of trying to put certain body parts of his into certain parts of mine and distracting me from the inevitable.

"Can we at least have this conversation with you naked," he asked, and I flicked his ear, making him flinch.

"No. Focus. No more sex until we work this out. I put my foot down here," I stated firmly, and he sighed heavily.

"Fine; you win,_ Roza,_" he grumbled. I nodded, satisfied... And then promptly realized I didn't even know where to start. I frowned and had to think about it.

"I thought you said that your love faded. What changed your mind?" I started with a shaky breath, beginning with the first solid thought that could form in my mind that was absolutely swimming with questions. Dimitri was silent, but I could feel his arm tightening around my waist.

"It was a lie. I lied. Love doesn't fade, _Roza_," He whispered, and I bit my lip.

"Why would you lie about that, Dimitri?" I asked quietly.

"I wanted to protect you... I wasn't in a good place when I was restored, and I thought I was doing the right thing, but to be honest, I was just trying to run away and not face my problems," Dimitri said, trailing his fingers thoughtfully over my navel, the way some people stroked a cat or a dog when they were upset and the pet was helping to comfort them.

"You destroyed me with that lie, Dimitri. It was even worse when we were in Iowa and you slept with me to make sure I wouldn't run away from you that first night. You screwed me for three days straight, and when I woke up, the way you treated me just made me feel like I was just your hooker, and all I was waiting for was for you to leave the money on the bed. I felt worthless and used, Dimitri!" I told him, my voice rising slightly with emotion. Dimitri had a look of pain on his face, and he buried his face in my chest.

"God, _Roza_. I hated myself for that every day from the moment I saw the look on your face. You were so beautiful, and watching the joy die in your face felt like I'd just cut my heart out. I should have never hurt you like that. I should have just confessed my feelings that night... I know it will never be enough, but I am so sorry, _Roza._ If I could, I'd go back and change everything, and nothing I do will ever make up for how horribly I treated you," he lamented. I laid there, stunned, unable to really move or really understand this was happening. As we talked, Dimitri finally opened up and poured is heart out to me, and I was blown away. Dimitri had never been this open and honest with me before. He always hid some part of himself behind his guardian mask. We talked about everything then; now that what happened in the past had been laid to rest. We talked about the future- our future- about the twins and who they would become, where we saw our life going, our deepest fears and dreams...

I really started to get to know Dimitri in those moments. And I'm talking on a whole new level, here. We learned things about each other that we'd never known up until this point, and it wasn't on a physical basis this time. Even after everything, I was still a little skiddish around him. I didn't quite believe that Dimitri was actually going to stick around, and he must have sensed that, because he put extra effort into pampering me and being the best dad to our kids.

"Dimitri?" I asked, running my fingers lightly through his hair.

"Mmmmm?" he purred.

"What are you going to do about your job at court?" I asked, feeling him stiffen as if the thought hadn't quite occurred to him. "You know I can't go back there... Not with the twins. What are you going to do? Aren't you the head of the Royal Guard? And isn't your vacation supposed to come to an end soon?" I asked. Dimitri sighed. This was a tough decision for him. It was a tough decision for me, but I'd had no choice, and now I didn't want to go back. I wanted to keep my children safe, and if that meant I was stuck in a dhampir commune, or if I had to run and live in the human world again, then I would.

"I don't know, _Roza._ I don't know," he said. That earlier paranoia that Dimitri might have left my location slip to the people back at Court returned

"You didn't tell them I was here, did you?" I asked, nervous. Dimitri shook his head.

"_Nyet, Roza_, but they miss you so much," he told me. I looked at the ceiling.

"I know. I sometimes feel Lissa try to reach out to me through the bond, but I can't go back. I was raised to put the Moroi first my entire life, but now they don't come first anymore. Thalia and Nikolai do. I have to keep our children safe," I explained. "It's better this way."

Dimitri sighed and nodded. "I understand, _Roza,_" he whispered. I looked up at him.

"Dimitri, I don't expect you to give up your life for us. I'll be okay... We'll be okay if you go back. You're free to go," I told him. Dimitri met my eyes with a wide, surprised gaze. I could see the internal war he was fighting, but instead of saying anything, he kissed me, and finished removing any scrap of clothing between us and we made love. I held onto him tightly, cherishing what time I had with him before everything changed and he left again.

That was awfully pessimistic of me, but there was no way Dimitri would leave his position as Lissa's guardian. Sure, I was the mother of his children, and I as well as those children would be staying in Russia under a low profile because I didn't want us to be found. But I'm not sure that was enough to make Dimitri leave the incredible career and the life he'd made for himself.

Dimitri didn't move off of me when we were finished; laying over me with his head lying on my stomach, Dimitri looked serene and peaceful as we slept in each others arms.


End file.
